Butterfly Journal

I’ve been writing again. I’ve actually got quite a bit done. I just need to finish it. The process is slow. It takes me a good 4 hours to make 3000 words, but it’s worth it. I’m having fun with this story. I told myself I’m not going to post it until it’s finished. I can’t tell you how tempted I am right now to just toss it out there though, but I know that doing that would make writing this story more into a chore.

 

I don’t want that.

 

Anyway, here are the Stats for this new story. I’ll share that at least.
 

Progress:

000 - Prologue [?]
001 - One [3545] {done}
002 - Two [3120] {done}
003 - Three[3391] {done}

004 - Four [1311] {in-process}

 

Word count so far [11 367]

Goal [50 000]

 

I bought several things on my last paycheck, last Friday. I bought this cute bra that I didn’t think I’d win, 2 Star Trek Shits, Pon Farr Perfume, and those Marry Janes. The bra and Janes got to my house before the end of last week, but the Janes died after the first hour. So now I’m waiting for the replacement pair before I have to return them. The bra fits like a half cup, so I’m not going to be wearing them anytime soon.

 

They’re still cute to look at though. I also found a really good deal on some nice colorful ones. I’m not much on the whole “Lovely bras,” but I kind of like them.

 

I exercised more this week. I hope I’m able to keep it up when school starts. I did Cardio and Weight Training for an hour Tuesday, and I did an hour of Cardio today. I’m not used to an hour of cardio a day, and I was going at it pretty fast (140 s/m). I want to try another hour tomorrow before work and some more Cardio with WT this Friday.

 

I weighed myself at 145lb last time I looked, and I still want to be 120-130. If not that, then I want to look slimmer with some nice muscle tone.

 

The only down side to exercising is I keep finding my one and only guy friend there. It’s really creepy, ‘cause he has this whole crush on me. It’s fucking ridiculous! I know the whole thing is purely coincidence, but it still doesn’t stop it from being creepy as fuck.

 

GODDAMNIT! It pisses me off, this whole crushing over me. I don’t want it, and I thought I’d just let it be, ya’know? It’s not like he can help how he’s feeling.

 

I had hoped he’d get over it, but that didn’t seem to help any. After I tried to make it strait that I never will feel the same way about him, he sends me a fucking three page essay about his feelings over me. I nearly punched his face in, but Haley stopped me. I also didn’t want any drama, so I just forgot about it and pretended it never happened. Okay, it still pisses me off and I really should have just decked him.

 

I thought maybe it was time to start putting distance between us. I mean, I don’t want to lead him on or anything. Plus, I was noticing things that were starting to tick me off, such as him telling me “you’re worth the wait” which is sickening and creeeeeeeeepy as fuck. Then there’s this whole, pushing my other guy friends back when we’re playing. As if he’s trying to stake some goddamn claim on me. As if he has any fucking right.

 

Then there was the whole “tried to kiss you” part that happened only twice, but damn if I didn’t want to fucking throw up or something. I mean, EW! It’d be like kissing my brother. As if I didn't notice he triedthough! I mean, I ignored that it even happened, but ew ew ew... I should have stopped hanging out with him once he tried putting his arm around me, but he is a good friend. And I just tried to deal with his stupid little crush.

 

 

The last thing I fucking hate though, would be he reads my fucking LJ. It’s fucking creepy, and he better fucking stop. Not even my best friend reads my LJ. At least not often.

 

I’ve got two days of exercise this week. Tuesday I did some Cardio, and Thursday I was able to do Cardio and Weight Training. I also started writing Thursday on a Star Trek fanfic. I’m calling it “Our Story” for now.

 

I didn’t sleep much that night. I was seriously writing for 9 hours, maybe more. I got 7000 word out and 2.5 chapters, since I only got a few pages of chapter 3.  I didn’t go to sleep until fucking 8 Friday morning, and was able to sneak 6 hours in before I had to start the day. My arms were killing me! I literally couldn’t type a blood IM without some pain. But it was all worth it.

 

I didn’t do much that day, seeing as my arms were hurting. So I rented “Confessions of a Shopaholic” and lazed around the house.

 

I wanted to write all day, and come that night when I was just itching to type out something, pain or no pain. I popped a few Tylenol PMs and was out like a rock for 13 hours.

 

I wanted to exercises again this morning, but even as I got to the gym an hour before closing, they were all locked up.  So I came home and now I’m having troubles writing. Not that I’m in pain anymore. Just can’t think right.

 

I need to keep telling myself, “Your writing cause it’s fun, not because it’s a chore.”

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I woke up this morning in pain. JOY~! <3

 

That really sucks.  I was going to go do an hour of Cardio anyway, but I felt really tired this morning, again.  I woke up at around 1:30, ate breakfast, and tried to go back to bed. It didn’t work, no matter how tired I felt. Not only that, but I was in a bit of pain because of yesterday’s work-out. It was hell changing clothes.

 

I got Starbucks on the way to work today.  The largest one they had too – venti – with 4 shots of espresso.  Even after that drink I’m still tired.  Great!

 

I think I might be coming down with something.

I went to the gym today. I also slept until 2pm, but I wasn’t feeling all that great. Haley, Corrie and I were up late last night (until 4am) talking about Vulcan mating rituals and generally acting like dorks. We also had some fun reminiscing about Buffy the Musical, before the bug man drove by. Afterwards, we were just trying not to die from the bug poisoning.

 

Going to the gym was just what I needed. I did some 30 minute Cardio, sweat bullets, and then did some 30 minute Weight Training.  Afterwards, I felt like running.  I didn’t, but now that I think about it, I probably should have. It’s not like I last long running anyway.  I would have ran 5 minutes before going, “Screw this!” and walked back home.

 

I did some yoga too. Earlier this morning, I got a call from my Library to say my Yoga DVD reserve came in.  While I was up there, I picked it up and brought it home.  It didn’t take me long to realize that Yoga is basically really slow stretches.  Hahaha…  But they felt great!  My muscles were all tight, and I was able to move better afterwards.

 

I had my migraines and general sleepiness going on again today.  I’m getting tired of it!  The exercise was able to lessen the sleepiness, and the Yoga got rid of some of the migraine, but I still had to drink some coffee and take an Excedrin pill. I’m now feeling better, tired again, but it’s about 12 now.

 

I have work at 4:30 tomorrow.  I’ll try and get another hour of exercise before I go.  I also want to spend some time with Haley before work too. So that means stopping by the Café for an hour…

 

Let’s see. I’ll go to the gym around 2:30, do a full hour of Cardio, go to the Café around 3:30, spend a nice hour chatting with my BFF, and then stop for work from 4:30 to 9:30. Sounds like I’m going to have a nice and busy day ahead of me.

 

Time to call it a night then.

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Maybe I'm a bit obsessed?
... Naw

Last week I weighed myself at 147 lb, and today found myself at 143 lb.  Woot!  My goal is a good 120 lb. For being 5'1", that will make me about average weight.  Take into account my 36DDs and I'll say that 120 lb is pretty nice.  I can hopefully take that 36DD down a notch to a 34D.  That's my dream at least.  *wistful sigh*

I started taking down what I eat.  When I weighed 170lb, all I did was stop eating snacks and colas.  So this time I'm drinking less Fruit Juices -- all that fructose corn syrup -- and drinking more water.  No need for liquid calories.  

I'm also taking down what I eat.  It's not that I stopped eating.  I just eat less.  After all, apparently the amount of meat you eat should weigh no more than a stack of playing cards a day.  I usually eat 3 times that.

I'm also trying to get more grains and vegetables into my diet, but it's hard for me to sneak that into our shopping cart each week.  I have been able to get some salad.  I'm hoping for some reduced fat Horizon milk in the future, but my family hates stuff like that. *sighs*

I'm trying to pull myself out of bed in the mornings, to go to the College Gym, but I'm hell in the mornings as is.  Also, my college is 30 minutes away, and I'm reluctant to pay for the extra gas each week.  I figure though, that I should spend a good 2 hours a day working out.  It's not like I'll get much of a work-out the rest of the day.  My free time is spent reading books and playing on the net.  Work is sitting at the computer, answering the phone, and pointing out where the damn bathroom is.  The most work-out I get each day, is a 15 minute walk with my dog, and that's hell with the Texas heat being in the 110's.

Maybe I'll convince Haley to let me walk with her each night... but then there is the humidity...
 

Give me this and a Star Trek Shirt, and maybe those boots, and I'll be on Cloud 9 forever.

BTW, best Star Trek Shirt to go with, would be this one:

I have a big boot fetish.  I must admit though, I've very picky abount my boots.  I only like ones that are either black or brown, knee-high, have a 3 inch heel, and are not pointed toes.  When I find one that follows these rules, well, is it hotter in here or is it just I?



Okay, so the toes are bit more pointed than I would like, but look at those buttons! OMG!

Several hours later, and this is how he comes out looking:

 

 

 

Not what I had in mind, but I kinda went crazy with the color layering.  Ha ha ha… That was pretty fun.  I don't like it for only one reason, I over did the MSC UV cut and his face looks yellower than his body.  Drat!
 

I also over did the red.  I like the look on some dolls, but it doesn't suit him. The eyebrowns could be thicker too.  This is a rather dramatic face-up, where Jonathan sould have a more natural face-up. 

He kinda looks like a Sleep-deprived Vampire right now.

I found these eyes for sale last night on eBay, and LOVE!  Too bad they are above the price for eyes that I’m willing to pay for at the moment, but it’s okay to put it on my Wish List.
 

I started making Jonathan’s face-up yesterday morning, and when I was nearly done, the last of my old MSC UV Flat went bad – like it wasn’t drying after 3 hours, kinda bad.  I took a step back and found that his eyebrows were very wonky, so I went and washed it all off.  Blah!

 

I tried going to bed last night, and for some reason, I couldn’t sleep.  Again. So I took some Tylenol PM, and was getting even drowsier.  Anyway, for some inexplicit reason, I was thinking clearer and was able to redo Jonathan’s face.  Interestingly enough, the character’s still the same, but his face is coming out looking different. I just changed the eyebrow shape and then lower them to under his brow line.

 

I woke up this morning, thinking I was going to hate his face, and find something wrong with his eyebrows again.  After all, it was 4 am when I was finished, and I was on some light sleeping meds…  I am happy to say, I still like the look and the eyebrows are, indeed, even.  Surprise!
 

 

I'm going to try and give Jonathan his newest face-up.  Why are Narins so difficult to paint?  Besides the doll having a small, 6 inch head, I'm also very picky on how I paint.  I end up painting the face over and over again, because I end up hating it each time. I’ve been thinking about getting them professionally done, but then again, I won’t have the practice I need.

 

I bought some more MSC Flat and MSC UV Flat for my dolls.  I usually give them a good 3 coats of MSC UV Flat and layer the paints and pastels with the regular MSC Flat.  The UV cut has a bit of a yellow tint to it, and it makes my colors come out less vibrant, but the UV cut protects the French Resin from yellowing -- So I use it more as a basecoat.

 

Anyway, I bought some of each from Sprue Brothers Models for $13.99 for the MSC UV Flat, $11.99 for the MSC Flat, and $8.02 for shipping.  The net cost was $34 -- a good $11 cheaper from where I used to buy it.  *happy*

Another thing, it only took 3 days to get here after I placed the order!  WOOHO!

For a while now, I’ve been trying to get my dolls into some kind of character.  I try once in a while, only to change my mind later, but I’ve been constant in what I want their hair and eyes to be.

 

Jonathan William Blake

Hair: Fur Wig, Short, Black

Eyes: Glass, 12mm, Bright Green

 

 

Mathew (“Matty”)

Hair: Fur Wig, Short, White

Eyes: Glass, 12mm, Pure Blue

 

 


 

Aiden

Hair: Fur Wig, Short, Golden Brown

Eyes: Glass, 14mm, Hazel

 

 

Shopping List:

 

Sunny’s World

$ 10.98  1/6 Doll Fur Wig (black short fur #38)

$ 10.98  1/6 Doll Fur Wig (coffee short fur #37)

$ 10.98 1/6 Doll Fur Wig (white short fur #41)

 

$ 32.94 = Sub Total [Free Shipping]

 

Captured in Glass

$  9.89 Glass Eyes Y45, 12mm

$  9.89 Glass Eyes Y22, 12mm

$  9.89 Glass Eyes Y46, 14mm

 

$ 35.67 = Sub Total [$6 Shipping]

I’m at work right now. I wish I had more hours, because this seems to be the only thing that’s the most exciting of this year’s Summer Vacation. I’m exceedingly tired all the time now. I think I’ve might have had too much sleep. Funny, right? I’m tired, and I think it’s because of having too much sleep. You see, I’ve been getting 13-15 hours of sleep almost every “night.” Granted, I usually don’t go to bed until around 3-6 in the morning, but what can I say? I simply love to sleep… a lot.

When father dragged my ass to Austin for the yearly Family Vacation, I was getting up at a decent hour of 9 am with a good 8 hours of sleep every night. I felt like I could think better. I even felt better too. Now though, I wake up every morning, and I simply want to go back to bed. I have nothing planned. If I do, it’s usually only one thing a week – well, besides going to work from 5:00 to 9:30, and I don’t feel all that motivated in the morning to actually make doll clothes. Doll clothes is my least favorite thing to do… until it’s done.

I do seem to be getting a lot of Doll Things done. I haven’t finished the last of my Doll Making though, but I have been steadily getting rid of a fraction of my fabric. Which is just dandy. I have too much fabric and need the extra room… for something else or something. :P

I have a ton of books to read. Besides my fun “Let’s try and buy all the Star Trek novelizations” fun fest earlier this month, I’ve also have many Charlaine Harris’s books that I have yet to read. I also want to get the latest Janet Evanovich book, “Finger Lickin’ Fifteen” and Laurel K. Hamilton book, “Skin Trade,” but they are about $20 a piece, -- and I really can’t afford that right now. DAMNIT!  If I had that Evanovich book in my hand right now, I’ll by so laughing with hysteria… *pictures this* … uh…. That’s kind odd, but funny at the same time…

 

I ment to put this up last Wednesday, but I got cought up in other things.

Today I cut out the back exterior for the doll purses. I found that I must have miscounted how many bags I made, but I really didn’t want to go back to recount. After all, there are 4 pattern pieces for each of the “73”-ish bags. This is similar to finding out I had 23 Messenger bags instead of the 15 I thought I had… Anyway, I finished 10 Tie-purses today. I’ll do another 10 soon. I figure I’ll be up until 3 am anyway -- unless I resort to taking Nyquil again. I had to do that last night… I had dreams of sewing… *cringes*

 

A picture of the 5 different types of lining… I made two bags for each.

 

Making tiny bows was rather difficult. Thank god the fabric isn’t too heavy.

 

Tada! All 10 Tie-purses! All pretty and ready to go.

 

I might take a few purses later and ad some cute decorations to them. I also want to make some nice Pleated Skirts and Dresses to match… The thing is -- I have only boys… Maybe I can ask someone from a Doll meet, if I can measure out a pattern using one of their girls? That’ll be kinda embarrassing, but it’s better than forking out the money to buy myself a girl… I just don’t have the money for that right now… Even though, I really-really want one. :P